Understanding Gaslighting in Therapy: A Guide for Women
Gaslighting is a term that has gained prominence in discussions about mental health and personal relationships. It describes a form of psychological manipulation where a person is made to doubt their own perceptions, memories, or reality. While gaslighting is often associated with personal relationships, it can also occur in therapeutic settings. For girls and women, this can be particularly harmful and complex. This article explores how gaslighting can manifest in therapy and offers insights on recognizing and addressing it.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting involves denying or distorting reality to make someone doubt their own experiences or feelings. The term originates from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband manipulates his wife into questioning her sanity. In therapy, gaslighting can undermine the therapeutic process and exacerbate mental health issues rather than alleviate them.
How Gaslighting Manifests in Therapy
1. Invalidating Emotions
One common form of gaslighting in therapy is the invalidation of emotions. When a therapist dismisses or belittles a client’s feelings, it can make the client question whether their emotions are justified. For example, if a girl expresses distress over a traumatic experience and the therapist responds with, “You’re overreacting,” it can create self-doubt and confusion.
2. Denying Previous Statements
Gaslighting can also occur when a therapist denies or contradicts what the client has previously said. This may involve claiming that the client never mentioned a particular issue or that their feelings were misrepresented. For instance, if a client discusses a past trauma and the therapist later says, “You never talked about that,” it can undermine the client’s sense of reality.
3. Shifting Blame
In some cases, therapists may shift blame onto the client for their problems or feelings. This could involve suggesting that the client is solely responsible for their difficulties or that their reactions are the cause of their issues. This kind of gaslighting can lead to feelings of guilt and self-blame, hindering the therapeutic process.
4. Questioning Perception
Therapists might also question a client’s perception of events or experiences. For example, if a client describes a situation where they felt hurt or mistreated and the therapist responds with, “Are you sure that’s what happened?” it can lead to confusion and self-doubt about their own perceptions and experiences.
Recognizing Gaslighting in Therapy
1. Trust Your Feelings
If you consistently feel invalidated or confused during therapy sessions, it’s important to trust your instincts. Feeling uncomfortable or questioning your own reality in therapy can be a sign of gaslighting.
2. Seek Second Opinions
If you suspect gaslighting, consider seeking a second opinion from another mental health professional. A different perspective can help validate your experiences and provide clarity on whether your concerns are being addressed appropriately.
3. Document Your Sessions
Keeping detailed notes of your therapy sessions can be useful for tracking what was discussed and identifying patterns of gaslighting. This documentation can also serve as a reference if you need to discuss your concerns with another therapist or professional.
Addressing Gaslighting in Therapy
1. Communicate Concerns
If you feel comfortable, try discussing your concerns directly with your therapist. Open communication can sometimes resolve misunderstandings and clarify any issues. However, if the gaslighting behavior persists, it may be necessary to consider alternative therapeutic options.
2. Set Boundaries
Establishing clear boundaries with your therapist can help protect your mental well-being. If you feel that certain topics or approaches are harmful, assertively communicate your limits and preferences.
3. Find Support
Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or support groups. They can provide additional perspectives and emotional support, helping you navigate the challenges of gaslighting in therapy.
Conclusion
Gaslighting in therapy can have profound effects on a person’s mental health and self-perception, especially for girls and women who may already be navigating complex social dynamics. Recognizing the signs of gaslighting and taking steps to address it is crucial for maintaining a healthy therapeutic relationship and ensuring that therapy remains a supportive and constructive process. If you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting in therapy, remember that seeking support and validation outside the therapy setting is a key step towards recovery and empowerment.